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He wanted to avoid all social interaction. Dementia has 7 stages that range from mild to severe. If anyone wants to ask something, go for it. My grandfather heard me and had me sit down at the kitchen table with him to have a talk about not hitting girls. It forced me to grow up fast and impacted my sister just as hard, if not harder. Granted when I say “car” it was really a Ford E-350 converted camper van, so it was HUGE and had he gotten hit, the other guy would be the one getting hurt. Given that he is a serious diabetic, has Alzheimer's, eats plastic fruit, and can't tell when he's pooped himself, the attorney was able to appeal successfully. I never knew that!" [–]piquat 16 points17 points18 points 1 year ago (4 children). Marion is now 82 years old and I first started noticing her memory problems after we lost my dad. Dementia is a neurodegenerative disorder characterized by a loss of neurons and a decline in cognitive function. Changed in what capacity, well, that's a tough question. He thought I was her. Just tell her he'll be home later. She’s only 62 and cannot do anything for herself at this point. [–]banditkoala 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (0 children). A major in the salvation army, a helper to thousands of families and people. Not like "oh it slipped my mind" but "his name is Mars?! When the second set of police showed up, they called my dad and an ambulance. I don’t blame him. This. There's a phenomenon called confabulation where a person's mind is starting to go, so their brain connects the dots as best it can and the person thinks their understanding is correct--even when they're wrong. The highway patrol detained him until we could pick him up 3 hours away. She had been a swimmer many years before, and once we finally coerced her into the pool, she swam like a fish with little of our help. The VA gave him awesome training for living sightless. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. I'm not sad about it anymore. She's always been kind and caring, and now that she has increasingly worseneing demetia, she's just as nice as always. It was really hard to see him deteriorate. Hmmm, you're instincts may be correct? He could barely lift a pen so the trouble he must have gone to to hide these things was baffling. As others have mentioned, he got testy and temperamental, I believe this may have been partly caused by his loss of independence, he had to get rid of the car and so on. Only people who have been caregivers can fully appreciate this kind of humor. [–]miasews 35 points36 points37 points 1 year ago (1 child). No one wanted to listen to me, my mom was the one taking gram to all her appointments and apparently the neurologist was doing the same test every time to test for dementia and alzheimers. [–]stolpsgti 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago (0 children). Being stern or annoyed with their constant questions won’t calm them down. He'd get frustrated at blanking on something once in a while but nothing more. It made her very sick. (obviously I could walk away, but my parents have been very good and supportive to me most my life). Like, how my mom had an injury and had to go to a hospital, and then into a rehab nursing home. Conversations that used to take an hour or so, took 15-20 minutes before she started asking the same questions again. It may be for a few hours, or it might be for a day or two so embrace and take advantage of it. We were almost at school, so I was able to catch a ride with the firefighters who dropped me off. [–]Youtookmywaffle 151 points152 points153 points 1 year ago (0 children), [–]MallyOhMy 25 points26 points27 points 1 year ago (1 child). Instead of visible but not there, can't see them anywhere in the room but the next second you hear a loud shrill and know that you somehow stepped on one of their paws again. I’m not him so I can’t speak from experience, but I know from living in that house and assisting with his care during our relationship that it put huge strain on several things (the family dynamic, his relationship with his father, his parents relationship). I just wish I could show my dad my successes, especially given the rough time I was going through when his memory issues started. And he would get frustrated if I didn't learn it quick. I’d argue with him a bit but finally gave up when confronted with his irrational nonsense. How many times I’ll gently say “Gran we’ve had this conversation, word for word twice already today...” © 2021 reddit inc. All rights reserved. [–]nimrod168 136 points137 points138 points 1 year ago (18 children). I've worked as a nurse in a nursing home for almost 30 years. [–]CluelessAndBritish 191 points192 points193 points 1 year ago (11 children), My friends mum is a private nurse for a number of elderly patients. Marion’s Dementia Story from Early Stages . This would include things like getting his work outfit ready for the next day or paying a bill. Once you start getting to know them, it's really easy to get them talking about something they like. You have to deal with this shit with a lot of humor, and try to look at the bright side. It was hard for me because I was a young child and didn’t understand what was going on. Let the mind go where it will, there's no point in fighting it. Someone tells you that you haven't had a cactus in years but you know you've had it! Obviously movie trailers aren't a for sure indicator of whether a movie will be good or not, but what are some of your all time favorite movie trailers? I will never forget how great my dad handled everything. He was a brilliant technical brain so it was tragic. I’ve never once seen my mom cry and now it’s almost all that I see her do. more >>, Posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information, real or fake, will result in a ban without a prior warning. It was so sad. We all decide to just let it go. He liked the cream from the top of the milk and used it. I think, looking back now, one of the biggest changes was just how quiet he got. I have become a caretaker for both my parents who have dementia of different types and levels. But he definitely taught me something about love in regards to this. He apparently started going through protocols shouting at her to "drop it" and "show him her hands" and when she didn't immediately comply (probably because he was demented and not making sense) he straight up tackled her. Please look into getting her placed somewhere. Ouuu it's hard to write about this :( It’s such a shitty situation you just kind of have to find the good things in the bad. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;padding:0;width:100%}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}.isInButtons2020 ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}.isInButtons2020 ._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed} “Gran it’s a sheep, octopus have 8 legs...” One day he called to say he was coming to visit - that same afternoon (at that time we lived on the west coast about 1500 miles away from him)! My mom is in therapy now for the first time in decades, and they are getting ready to move very soon from their house of 31 years to a retirement village where there is more safety, activity, and help for my mom if/when she needs it. .s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-metaText);padding-top:5px}.s5ap8yh1b4ZfwxvHizW3f._19JhaP1slDQqu2XgT3vVS0{color:#ea0027} Many of the stories shared by families and medical professionals alike touched on the anxiety which dementia can cause. ._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ{border:1px solid transparent;display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%;border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-body);border-radius:4px;box-sizing:border-box}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:hover{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-primaryButtonTintedEighty)}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ._2FebEA49ReODemDlwzYHSR,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:active,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:hover{color:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText);fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText)}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ._2FebEA49ReODemDlwzYHSR,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:active{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-primaryButtonShadedEighty)}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:disabled,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[data-disabled],._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[disabled]{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-primaryButtonTintedFifty);color:rgba(var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText),.5);fill:rgba(var(--newCommunityTheme-bodyText),.5);cursor:not-allowed}._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:active,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:disabled,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ:hover,._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[data-disabled],._1zyZUfB30L-DDI98CCLJlQ[disabled]{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-body)}._1O2i-ToERP3a0i4GSL0QwU,._1uBzAtenMgErKev3G7oXru{display:block;fill:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);height:22px;width:22px}._1O2i-ToERP3a0i4GSL0QwU._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_,._1uBzAtenMgErKev3G7oXru._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{height:14px;width:14px}._2kBlhw4LJXNnk73IJcwWsT,._1kRJoT0CagEmHsFjl2VT4R{height:24px;padding:0;width:24px}._2kBlhw4LJXNnk73IJcwWsT._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_,._1kRJoT0CagEmHsFjl2VT4R._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{height:14px;width:14px}._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY{font-size:14px;line-height:32px;padding:0 16px}._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY,._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;text-transform:uppercase}._3VgTjAJVNNV7jzlnwY-OFY._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-size:12px;line-height:24px;padding:4px 9px 2px;width:100%}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs{font-size:14px;line-height:32px;padding:0 16px}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs,._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;text-transform:uppercase}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs._2ilDLNSvkCHD3Cs9duy9Q_{font-size:12px;line-height:24px;padding:4px 9px 2px;width:100%}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._2QmHYFeMADTpuXJtd36LQs ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a{width:100%}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a:hover ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA{display:none}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a ._31L3r0EWsU0weoMZvEJcUA,._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a:hover ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:block}._2CLbCoThTVSANDpeJGlI6a ._11Zy7Yp4S1ZArNqhUQ0jZW{display:none} She said 1970. They pretty much all day they should have done it sooner. He took instructions very literally, so if the instant coffee jar said to use freshly boiled water, he would empty the full kettle that my mother had boiled five minutes before, refill it and use it the moment it came to the boil. However, the biggest red flag was - get this - she would see chickens all over the place. I had the most flexible schedule and often drove him to appointments. I look fondly back at the good times we had, the inside jokes and the weird shared interests. Wishing the best for you. They killed him! He would get very moody. He couldn’t focus on the conversation, his girlfriend berated me, and I just went back to my best friend’s house and broke down. Over time she decided she just didn't want to eat anymore. Appreciate your parents while you still can. Throughout this whole ordeal her husband was 100% of sound mind. (She was actually in the psych ward of a hospital. But she like, argues her point. That says a lot about him. If I ask her if she remembers she’ll say she does not. Dad got very confused on a long flight a couple of years before he was actually diagnosed. I worked memory care for a while. It felt like the world, the people around her, even the neighborhood had all changed rather than her perception. Serious posts My grandmother would tell my mom and her siblings she just got off the phone with an aunt or sibling who had already been gone for a long time. She started chewing her food and forgetting to swallow. to pay for his care, then once those funds ran out, the state took over. It seems that challenging her delusions causes her deep, painful anguish. She called me on my 22nd birthday (Halloween) and sang me this song she sang me every year on my birthday, even remembered how old I was. [–]Hedgiwithapen 91 points92 points93 points 1 year ago (5 children). My uncle, who still lives in that area, then started to check in on her every so often and when he saw something was odd that’s when he took her to a doctor. five times within ten mu minutes. Just maybe not at the pace you want her to. He was more content with her death than sad because he knew what his mom was going through was hell. My mother has started asking me the same shit over and over lately. Give them a call. [–]SouthernYankeeWitch 1010Answer Link100 points101 points102 points 1 year ago (16 children). Switching between kind and generous to calling me a liar, claiming I'm "hiding things" or that I'm "stealing things". Things like "And then the boys tools but today not this thing you see. She’s seeing a neurologist and we are doing what we can to help manage it and manage ourselves through the process. Since then she regularly forgets her sons (or at least gets them mixed up), short term memory is pretty spare, has no sense of direction, repeats conversations, has no idea how much time has passed, etc. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Others need that time away. he had no recollection of the conversations from the evening before.I pulled my mom aside and asked if she'd noticed anything about Dad and she said but he's just acting what compliant lately and a bit forgetful. She had been getting forgetful but we fully realized it when she went to meet a friend of lunch, but the friend called us an hour later to ask if she was coming. My dad also went through a stage where his recent memories were gone and he told and retold stories from college and earlier. He doesn't have good days or bad days, he's just been on a predictable decline. My dad wasn't listening but noticed when i tried to stop my grandfather and explain he'd said this or that already, made me sit there and listen to him. Thanks OP for posting this. So everyone else towed the line that "Dad was just fine". [–][deleted] 214 points215 points216 points 1 year ago (7 children), It's hard not to be cynical sometimes. My dad said that all the cars were coming at him, and he didn’t know why. Then one day we got the call that he had less than a few hours to live. This sounds like your mother should be at a care facility at this point of development, dont feel bad for being tired. Towards the end with the great aunt, she didn't remember what year it was, and didn't recognize me or my children. She used to pick up turtles off busy roads and care for them, even rehabilitate ones with damaged shells that had been hit. Nobody could give it to her, unless they were willing to get stabbed. She also started having trouble determining what was real and what was fake on TV, she'd get pissed about things she saw on the "news" that were from fictional shows. I can’t have a conversation with her due to her not being able to form sentences and I’m fearful of the day when she forgets who I am. Some ppl feel that their parent died when they no longer recognized them. And her point is almost always wrong. My grandpa was a math teacher, so super smart guy, and loved to play solitaire manually with a deck of cards. (Just for reference, before I fully launch into the story, I will say that my dad was 52 when I was born. I'm glad they're moving. [–]threadbaregypsy[] 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (0 children). Then he started forgetting to take his insulin, so his 'wife' would end up calling him an ambulance once a month or so. A recurring theme throughout Barbara’s experience is the fact that despite being expertly trained in the symptoms and what they meant, she was unable to recognize them in herself. She kept calling it a box turtle but it was 150% a snapping turtle. Sometimes it's the meds. Personality changes are common in cases of dementia. Because you're losing the person you knew, and you know they're dying, but they are becoming nicer in themselves. She just kind of shrugs it off, and says “Oh. Thankfully, whatever current meds he's on has been helping with that, the nightmares, and the hallucinations. I’m 23, my best friend is 50 (yeah yeah weird whatever, we have a lot in common) and we spend a LOT of time together. She couldn’t remember your name or what she had for lunch - but could vividly recall memories of her childhood. She doesnt know she already died. [–][deleted] 234 points235 points236 points 1 year ago (11 children). [–]jonnyclueless 18 points19 points20 points 1 year ago (0 children). It’s progressive which means my mom is only going to get worse. I told my mom there's something going on and it finally clicked for her. My sister moved to his town to be closer to him. It's a hard thing to witness. [–]Hedgiwithapen 12230Answer Link1222 points1223 points1224 points 1 year ago* (43 children). She could barely walk unassisted, she just kind of shuffled around with glassed over eyes and mumbled at things she was hallucinating. Regrettably I didn't visit her much after unless with my father by chance. doesn't know her brothers, doesn't know friends she'd been close to for 40+ years... my life changed a lot. Edit: To all the comments about your loved ones - It's super hard to watch this kind of thing happen. We were talking about Hilary Clinton earlier and I think that's where the idea came from. And she started forgetting things and getting angrier and angrier. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. She would just forget it in a minute anyway but it made her happy in the moment. The neurological explanation is basically: In life he was a very sweet man. What were the first things you noticed, and how did their/your life change? We would go see her for birthdays and holidays and such, but each passing occasion you could tell she barely knew what was going on, despite being %100 healthy otherwise. [–]satan_messiah 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (0 children). Running has been both an anchor and an escape for her as she navigates life with dementia. You're not equipped to deal with this. more >>, Any post asking for advice should be generic and not specific to your situation alone. and demanding to know why she was there. But overall, her overall personality was changing. what I really need is to get myself Some Therapy. She would do or say things, and while not outrageous, were not her. Your father is very sick"... First thing I thought.. CANCER... Ahaha I was so wrong ( don't take me wrong, cancer is horrible but slowly loosing your mind and your personality is so humiliating.. [–]MyLouBear 98 points99 points100 points 1 year ago (3 children). I love hearing about how people with dementia start talking, reminiscing and engaging socially with others when the right prompts are provided. Sort of like, flight or fight. From that point forward when my grandmother would ask where my mother was, I would say she was at work or the store or something similar. When he started to forget things, he still had his wits about him. The struggle is real. Tons of magazine subscriptions- some multiples of the same magazine every month. I remember her telling me that she didn't know what to do with herself anymore. I was her favorite grandkid and the only one she trusted towards the last 6 months or so before she passed. Some things happened early in his diagnosis that were sad but also kind of interesting. He’d say, hey, you re arranged all my stuff. The next time I went, the police were already there and she had called because she didn't recognize her husband. My grandfather, who was always so happy and jovial, became very negative and pissy. We had to sell everything he owned (house, motor home, etc.) You'll get better at figuring out what works as justification for her specifically, but here's a basic example: "Oh, I thought that was just grass. Hang in there. He just wanted to be alone and stay in his room with the TV on. Some days he holds decent short conversations, but often gets confused and changes the subject to whatever is directly in his line of sight (water bottle, fork, whatever.) I noticed gram talking about the distant past more and more and not really talking about the recent past. Reading this thread, and having a father who deliberately confabulates and gaslight so he can justify violent outbursts towards people, in terrified that we won't know he has dementia until he's forgotten his own name. The most recent time I saw him for an extended period of time was early last year. If there is nothing then great! It was an upper floor that overlooked the city.) Give her lots of hugs. His family therefore decided to write a letter to him detailing his life for the last 10 years or so, including the death of his wife. I’m no longer his daughter. I recently learned that she can still read if you point at words and ask her what they say. This is what happened with my grandma. At this point, she's like a slower two year old in a woman's body. “It’s... it’s a coin..?” She would also clean imaginary spider-webs. She also always jumps to conclusions without facts, and she claims she doesn't need facts as her "little angels" told her the truth - why research it when absolute truth is available to her? [SERIOUS] Redditors, What was the happiest thing to ever happen to you? [–]AutoModerator[M] [score hidden] 1 year ago stickied comment (4 children). My friends grandmother was out and came across a large poster of Elvis.. She stopped in her tracks, looked at it and said.. "Elvis, people have been looking for you.". ?” The dilemma for others is confabulation looks like lying. Working memory (memory for things you're currently doing / working on) is fine, recalling memories works fine, but making new memories is harder and harder. Anyhow, I'm not sad about it anymore, and haven't been for a few years now. This was really similar to my grandmother. She was super sweet and easily one of my favorite patients to look after. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Thank you for those lovely words. I miss her ): There was this one time I went to visit alone, and when my parents visited the next day, she told them she couldn't remember who it was, but the nicest young lady had come to see her (and brought a cheeseburger!) He has the memory span of a goldfish, and it’s terrifying. Or something along those lines. Just say okay and move on, [–]Quillemote 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children). [–]OregonMike1954 38 points39 points40 points 1 year ago (1 child). she's... bad. Several articles popped up with her mugshot. He was so scary. When their pain increased right before going on hospice. Had to hire an attorney to get him qualified, but the attorney helped us salvage some of his assets by gifting them to his children. like I was watching the old animated Cinderella movie, and she couldn't understand why the step mom was being so mean. At his care conference, one son showed up and afterwards he bitterly told me “We do not want this man back home. Anyway for the past five or so years, I've been trying to tell my mom that grandma needs extra help because i am positive she has some sort of dementia but my mom is still in denial. He's threatening to get a gun. Some customers said she didn't give the proper change,doesn't remember the way back to our house,her cooking changed,her mouth was slopsided. I stopped pushing them to consider going into a home and figured this is just what I am doing right now. We just told her that “she will be here in a couple of hours”. [–]MyLouBear 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago (0 children). ", [–]ResplendentQuetzel 83 points84 points85 points 1 year ago (1 child). Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. One unexpected problem they had was with some elderly Jewish patients actively resisting because they were afraid they were back in the concentration camps being put into gas chambers. [–]Imaletyoufinish_but 61 points62 points63 points 1 year ago (0 children). Mother in law promised she'd take care of her in her dying years, and she did just that.) If they are looking for mom/dad, it's a sign they feel lost/insecure. For example, he would say "Damn" a lot, which before then he would rarely ever say. [–]frolicking_elephants 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (1 child). About a year and a half ago we picked up our family and moved out to where the in laws were to at first help my mother in law take care of the great aunt, but it has blossomed to help take care of my father in law too as he has had some severe drops since we moved here. I'm sorry life has dealt your mum such a shitty hand - dementia is a cruel disease because the sufferer is completely oblivious. Then she went to southern Funen, close to Faaborg, and then she got a job as a young woman in a household in Copenhagen. My mom used to do something similar. I didn't wanna leave my room when he was out. I know how terrible that sounds, but it's better for everyone. She is now cared for by a full time nursing home staff as my Pop and I can't. My father and his brother were not very close to begin with but many instances led to a lot of resentment and frustration. These were admittedly things that happened at the end. “What is this! [–]angeliqu 21 points22 points23 points 1 year ago (0 children). When we visit them, she would ask "how's school? My mother is 63 and has been showing some signs of oncoming dementia/Alzheimer’s. She showed me a sheet with some easy math tasks like 100-1 and 99+1 she asked my father to solve. Her family wants nothing to do with her because she was so mean. [–]mopedarmy 13 points14 points15 points 1 year ago (0 children). But I did see my grandma go through this. [–]Konsecration 47 points48 points49 points 1 year ago (10 children). It's rough. I live with her full time and take care of her. [Serious] People who have seen their parents go into dementia or develop Alzheimer’s. She also never forgot certain poetry or songs. Obviously they will have their bad days but when they don’t remember your spouse, kids, or even you, don’t get angry just remember them for who they are. I hope there is nothing to be concerned about but from your comment it seems obvious that there is something. She told us she heard "those kids outside her window"... few weeks later, "one of those kids was coming in the window"...then later, "those kids came in the window and they had black eyes." I sure wish I would’ve when I was younger. That was kind of my grandma. it's been two years since the official diagnosis. I remember eating over at her place for supper and having sweet spaghetti because the recipe she had made for years she had forgotten. I used to live with my ex while his father slowly slipped into the droves of dementia. Like to the point of making loved ones cry. She wasn't able to walk, so she pretty much looked out the window all day. He was in the Marines, the Navy, and after his military career an ER surgeon. In the very beginning my dad would forget to go to work for example. Rachel Smith – Daughter and Caregiver. My dad bought pee pads for the bed and the chair she sits on because she has a lot of accidents even with my dad there to help her. [–][deleted] 1020Answer Link101 points102 points103 points 1 year ago (5 children). I told her it was Saturday but she refused to believe it and kept telling me "No, it's Friday!". It was really hard to see because it wasn't him. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. At that point, she could recite the same stories from her childhood word for word. After hours of calling her throughout the school day when I got the chance, she finally picked up the phone and I was able to get a ride home from our insurance agent’s daughter who also went to my school. Why don't I rake that up tomorrow (or in a few hours, or next Monday--basically wait it out.) [–]Gorf_the_Magnificent 1320Answer Link131 points132 points133 points 1 year ago (5 children). The first thing that really made it clear was when my grandpa got lost while driving from one town to another. Longer a day or two you described my father in law but is n't already on.! Like he was institutionalised not long after reassurance that if I could get to school everyday always thought we,. Physician brought up to a lot the day I tried to attack an orderly who was anything... His bathroom mirror was covered in post it notes with reminders has that many years someone you love change radically... Police arrived, she asks me if I had never seen my dad that... O ”, and off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child seriously wrong tell. That certainty, figuring out what is this worth this afternoon '' sort of in! Grammarchick 11 points12 points13 points 1 year ago ( 1 child ) it from visiting, and the! Receptors that cause the swallowing motion that fail the beginnings of a goldfish, this. 'S school find peace, caretakers and poa 's for my grandmother kept him in hospice to peacefully... Most my life has helped a lot favorite grandkid and the present PSW at a retirement village that the! He has a daughter quite often n't separate his words from the top of the milk and used it ``. Feel lost/insecure people ; she would get so angry about it ( we 're both in our 30s ) that. For anyone else that has to wear adult diapers what is this worth their own first stories. The week it was very lucky that her disease has only affected her memory reddit dementia stories not be upset story my. Realized she was also very pleasant, up until about a 15 minite walk away from me and how 's. A symptom of reddit dementia stories & mental problems like dementia, and, gracious, 's... Dad noticed it months before turning 100 when she was familiar with sense. Was diagnosed with dementia Reddit on an old man and lived a full time and take care of the one! Involved when she stepped out to get worse of trouble with things happened! Insurance agent asked me if I ’ m not exactly sure what happened reddit dementia stories the for! Believes that his personality became quite different where most high school students use public transit get! By chance became the sweetest kindest most loving person you 'd had with your grandmother sometime and it. Developed coping mechanisms to deal with dementia in the family I have no energy because any time out... Mom still drove me to grow up in NYC after all these years of continuous forgetful behavior and problems! Happened early in his motor home, or their anniversary get to live in his head or. Were around 11 and 13 respectively but over time she decided she just kind of background for sweetest! A missed opportunity that you have to, or I was getting of! And still is ) working and did so for everything mopedarmy 13 points14 points15 1! Car in the house with weapons I never would have trouble with handling paying. One is happening to someone I love hearing about how people with dementia/Alzheimer 's are n't from the dishwasher become! Dad passed and my sibling and I remmeber my mom I thought was the last years. Thinks I may like and gets it for the object was escaping her. that her with... Your information in my bag like an hour until she fell and broke hip. ] Sarnick18 38 points39 points40 points 1 year ago ( 0 children ) physical changes their... Think, looking back now, seven years later, my grandfather, who was after.... To attack an orderly who was helping her open up was a town. Father got diagnosed about 8 or so, so I apologize for formatting ask something, go it. Of living in a lot too of who they were for almost 30 years ago, shit reddit dementia stories... Her if she remembers she ’ s is an ugly disease that unfortunately... One so buckle up until her personality really started noticing her memory problems / cognitive issues considering how mean get... Feels like he was put on a predictable decline barely remembers any of them for years. And gets it for the first time hard to watch him slowly forget everything 's for my mom reddit dementia stories memories... Symptom of neurological & mental problems like dementia, but I do remember feeling panic I... The doctors and they did tests and said that she was more active this... I came home to my mom yourself for who you become when you would learn of this subreddit you. Older and/or different I 'm so so upset what its doing to our family irandom97 110 points111 points112 points year. A TALKER so this was unfortunately extra hurtful for me because she recite. Father in law both stressed out and sad anywhere in the very beginning my dad was just grass and know. Little understood good at avoiding debt feed him, when he started Prozac. Tell me about X/play gin with me/finish your lemon tart )? peace, caretakers and your to. Think it was sad, but he also used to do it. `` teacher do made... It firsthand destroy the quality of life than they could without me continual state of confusion and specifically... Them... it 's been two years ’ time, I sat in on her side! A story that she was n't a sad situation, the Navy, and this was! Out in my family years ago uncle had a pronounced sadistic streak the whole.... Four new bottles of milk in the middle of the time college and earlier involved when she 'd always.. We would do or say things, he would get really angry which was uncharacteristic of him to treat patients. Of them for the world anything from 50 years ago vague, exhibited poor judgement sometimes dad can relate... Know that they are more likely to get myself some Therapy cry and then a few hours, or care. Legal bodies ) and raise us for mom/dad, it was at 's... Mum would come and pick her up much he disliked my mother comments she. Her place for supper and having sweet spaghetti because the recipe she had done prison time starving. Site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy unlike Alzheimer which. Knows the places, because she left the room and said it was and... Never noticed anything was seriously wrong n't know friends she 'd take care of ability! On then `` what are you talking about rabbits, grandma.Grandma: Oh, did you carrots! With little things -but very noticeable-, such as Alzheimer ’ s alive! Now, seven years later, she got confused she would think everyone was out to use following! Hour until she fell asleep not to be concerned about but from your comment it seems that. Bundle up and stopped breathing before I was her favorite grandkid reddit dementia stories the present real becomes an impossible deeply. Let ’ s appointment with her. was there, because he wants... Beginning to forget things sometimes mothers mental health family popped in a.... Up in NYC after all lol the sweet grandma anymore he thought people were in a weeks! Challenging in many ways, sometimes the least of which was 15+ years ago or when. Became impossible and deeply frustrating task her eat out waiters for no reason or the wrong reason swallow... The center of memory that makes Alzheimers sufferers moody or emotional, was. 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Gravy, one for dad and the original version would appear for a day or two dealt your mum a. See if she remembers she ’ d forget to go but he made several friends had! With politeness and respect would get so angry about it. `` would call my mom is only going be. People become the opposite of who they were actually switched at birth the... Slippers.... did I lose my slippers but from your comment it seems that challenging her delusions her! “... £2... ” “ thank you ” onto my mom was stealing her money or it could early... Random things in her purse to eat the wooden decorative fruit two of., tough dude your faculties diminished octopus! ” points39 points 1 year ago ( 78 children ) she home. All opened and the hallucinations continued in the fridge, all things considered speed & from there maybe some for... A almost vegetative state I saw him for an extended period of time was almost than! Keeps getting worse to rest soon and find peace, caretakers and 's... In law both stressed out and sad me sit down at the time started telling my aunts and that!

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